Living In A City Full Of Colours...

Hell's Kitchen .....

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Arghhhhh !!! I'm so so freaking , f*cking , watever shit , pissed and disappointed with my 'beloved' mother . I can really shed tears of hurt and disappointment . :'( What meant to be my sincere attempt to try make her happy , simply turned out disastrous and just made monsters outta the both of us . All thanks to Devil Moolah !

I HATE YOU , MONEY !!! I REALLY REALLY HATE YOU !!! *Sobs* :'(

Wokays , in case U guys dunno wat the hell I'm talking about , here goes ... . Mummy 'dearest' longs to change the stove in the kitchen 'coz of itz super bad state (even though there's not much cooking done in our house , I really dunno how come it can end up in itz current pitiful state) . We went around looking for stoves a few weeks back and discovered that stoves these days are kindda expensive , so I thought it would be better to get those built-in type of cooker hob , hood and oven . Works out to almost the same price as a stove anyway and more stylo mah . But the thing is that we'll have to hack and re-renovate the cabinets to accomodate the new built-in kitchen gadgets . Seeing how badly the Mummy longs for a new kitchen (even though she didn't say it , her looks said it all) , I volunteered to pick up the tab 'coz she kept saying she has got no money . Nevermind the fact that she HAS the money to go Genting , buy 4D & To-to & shares and even intending to get a HD LCD dunno wat not television set just for the fun of it . Okay , then I told her my budget was just like $4k for the whole renovation AND the appliances 'coz that was almost all that I can afford with my pathetic salary , after I return to work in August that is ('coz only then I'll get back my allowances and increment due to my additional qualification) . Then our excitement was shortlived 'coz we realised that wif that budget , it would be almost impossible to get anything decent . So , after a night of serious calculation and giving up of thoughts of getting things for myself , I decided to increase my budget to $6k , hoping that everything should be able to be covered with the new amount . Of course the mother was very happy and sweet with my new budget la . So typical . Pffffft !

Anyhow , to cut the long crap short , we settled for some lousy XXX designing company 'coz I guess itz the only place we know that accepts interest-free installment payments via credit card . Initially , the mother was the one who said that this company was lousy and reckoned that itz quality would be just as bad and not worth the costs , so might as well go find some place else . Then I reminded her that other places might not have the installment payments thingy . Then she was the one who volunteered to pay first but I have to pay her back 'coz itz like her coffin money thingy ? Then I said of course la , 'coz I sincerely wanted to buy the damn thing for her 'coz of my love for her . Then I dunno wat sort of corrupted thoughts went thru her mind , in the end she say better not , better just stick to the lousy XXX designing company . U know , itz just so typical of suspicious , money-minded her ! She didn't say it till just now when we fought , but I could just read through her !!! She must haf felt that she had better NOT volunteer her money in case I don't pay her back , which I swear with my cats' lives that I really DO NOT harbour such thoughts okay ! Maybe only people like her will la . My intentions were just to get something decent with the most reasonable price no matter who pays first , 'coz ultimately I AM the one footing the whole damn bill . But no lor , she just likes to think things her own bloody way !

I hope U guys are not lost by now ?

Anyhow , again , the guy from the lousy XXX designing company dropped by just now to go through again with us how we intended our cabinets to be . In the end , the way he quoted the prices , the whole thing was definitely going to exceed my budget !!! But the mother was very quick to volunteer and promise that we'll go down by this evening to make payments , as though she's so afraid that I'll not get the kitchen for her . U know what ? I tell U , she is RIGHT !!! I don't think I'll get her the damn kitchen afterall !!! What for ?! What for make this type of I-really-dunno-how-to-describe-her person happy ??? The last nail that she drove into me , was that she was so determined to make FULL use of the $6k , like not even wanting me to get a single cent discount like that . U know , what I mean is that just because I volunteered $6k , she die die gotta spend it ALL like tat . Help me save a few tens of dollars also cannot ! Bloody fuck !!! I was so blardy pissed till I really couldn't stand it ! So I irritated her back by emphasising that ANY CENT more than $6k , I am NOT going to pay ! I mean firstly I've really got no more money leh ! Then more importantly , why should I ???!!! SHE was the one , with her own selfish & calculative thoughts , that did not want to scout for other possible cheaper places , so why should I bear any extra costs rite ???

Haiyah , I really dunno lah . Maybe U all will ask me to just give in to her lah , afterall she's my mother and she's so old and all that . But I really don't see the point lor . She's never happy wif what I do , nor satisfied one lor !!! Really ! I can even forsee that if I did eventually settle for this lousy XXX designing company , and one day the cabinets juz collapse due to its supposedly inferior quality , she will definitely blame me for it !!! Ah then nag nag nag and saying as usual I'm so stupid and bla bla bla . It's the usual case lor . :'(

I'm just so so sad now . I should have just let her get her damned stove then all these wouldn't have happened . :'( Anyway , everything just ended with her throwing of all things , haizzz , the calculator at me . As if I'm not vexed enough with calculations . :'( And with her saying "Now there's even more reason NOT to leave the house to U !" Huh ? Juz because I didn't give her a new kitchen ? And I ever mentioned that I love our current house alot right ? So she sometimes mentions , when she's in her kinder state of mind , that she'll leave me half of the house after she dies . Ermm , if U don't understand , U gotta ask me in person 'coz itz hard to explain in words la .

Haizzz ... . So any kind souls out there with any words of advice on what I should do now ? But I still really hope to get her a new kitchen 'coz I still love her as my mother . But it just have to be within my means . And any lobangs on how I can get the following kitchens for $6k , no more no less , are gratefully welcomed . :D